People often ask for a marker as to when a marriage is clearly over.
This is a difficult question since people have different styles of communication and what signals work for some people do not work for others. Although there is no way of predicting the end of a marriage, it may be helpful to look at the signs and try to answer the following 4 questions:
Do we constantly argue about money
If you find that you are always arguing about money, it may be that you have very different spending habits and will never be able to change your spouse. The sad thing is that when you divorce, your expenses generally increase, not decrease creating more, not less, stress in the relationship
Are our children seeing the signs of the trouble in our marriage
If your children are aware of the problems you are having and are appearing troubled by this perhaps this is a red flag to start moving things along. Although children often have better skills than their parents when it comes to adjusting to the potential change in the marital status of the parents, they still want to feel that they will be safe throughout the transition and also that they were not the cause of the marital split. It is helpful to speak to a specialist to see the best way to handle this issue.
Are we able to speak to each other about issues involving the family?
If you are unable to have civil conversations with each other over important family matters this may be a signal that the communication level has diminished. If you feel this could be remedied by some counseling, this should be done as soon as possible. Communication is the key to working matters out as well as keeping a good working relationship going forward, no matter what the decision is regarding the breakup of the marriage.
Are we both willing to try to work matters out
It is imperative that both parties are willing to try to resolve matters if the relationship can be salvaged. It is always good to try to work things out but this requires cooperation from both parties and it takes to willing spouses to reach an agreement.
If you answer no to most of these matters it may be time to meet with an Attorney to review your options.
Article provided by Rory Godowsky, Gonser and Gonser Attorneys
Gonser and Gonser Attorneys
Hagley Bldg., Suite 203
3411 Silverside Road
Wilmington, DE 19810
Phone: (302) 478-4445
Fax: (302) 478-4432